a running acount

the daily adventures of mandy v

if you would like to live life vicariously through me, here's your chance.

date:

17 oct 2006 @ 04:10 (pas de sujets)

humeur actuelle:

distressed
musique actuelle: black flag - my war

i am going to explain some things, beginning at the beginning, so's i can refer people to this in the future in case of askings. also because something pretty horrible happened recently.

when i was still unborn - a fetus, as it were - something weird happened to my brain. the arteries which make up the 'circle of willis' or cerebral arterial circle (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circle_of_Willis#Subclavian_steal_and_the_circle_of_Willis) in my brain underwent stenosis, to a point of about 85%. that means 80 percent of the major blood distributing apparatus of the brain in my head was blocked off, occluded, unavailable, you get the picture. the thing is, my brain was just sort of like 'hey, whatever, we can work around it' and created alternate routes for the blood to travel in. so i have veins and whatnot in my brain, i guess, that other people haven't got. this is kind of weird, but no one knew about it pretty much for the first 11 years of my life, because why would they? no one ever cut me open or did MRIs or anything like that, there was no reason to - i got some stitches and broke a bone when i was little but nothing really major ever happened.

so. when i was 11, i was signed up for junior lifeguards. yeah i used to be a really active kid - i was all about skateboarding, and going to the beach, and i played soccer, basketball, softball, i rode my bike everywhere, i won third place in some state running thing, i dont know what - yeah i was a crazy kid. so i'm at junior lifeguards, where at one point they make you swim for a block and then run for a block. i'm swimming, and i start to feel kinda dizzy, but i figured i'm just tired. i get out of the water and i try to run and i can't see straight. so whatever, i go get in the line to go out in the kayak (by the way, i was looking forward SO MUCH to that kayak, you don't even know) and suddenly i knew something was really wrong. i walked over to one of the lifeguards who was standing in the water and i tried to tell him so, but i couldn't really speak correctly, and then i passed out in the surf.

they called an ambulance and brought me to the hospital. i woke up in the emergency room screaming - there was a lot of pain involved. they did all sorts of tests - CT scans and EKGs and EEGs etc, and they finally figured out that my right internal carotid artery had spontaneously dissected. you get all that?

okay, your carotid artery goes up through your throat - you know how you feel for a pulse? that's your carotid. then it splits up - your exterior carotid i think goes to your scalp or your face, i dont know, and your interior goes into your brain. so my interior carotid on the right side began to sort of ehhh fall apart, kind of. the artery itself sort of started to come apart (dissect), so that the inside of it kind of closed off and left a lot less room for blood. that made a blood clot form, so, even less blood. that, OR, a blood clot formed and knocked around in my artery enough for it to dissect. they arent sure.

so that's what that was. i spent about a month in NYU getting all sorts of stuff done. eventually they told me i am something like the 13th case in medical history of a spontaneous arterial combustion! isnt that great.

anyway, that's a stroke, basically. well, a 'real' stroke is a CVA, a cardiovascular accident. what i had was a TIA, a transient ischemic attack. it's a mini-stroke. the symptoms usually last for less than 24 hours in most cases. mine included. what sucks is that i had that when i was fucking 11. after that i wasn't allowed to do anything; i didn't even take gym in school for three years. does that sound fun? maybe it sounds fun, but seriously, when you're in 6th grade and everyone else gets to play outside for recess and you have to stay inside and read a book, that's not really my idea of a good time. and since then i've been in the hospital a million times, and had to deal with incredibly migraines, AND had another TIA. the day before my 23rd birthday, just this past year. fantastic. it made the vision in my right eye go away for a few hours. THAT was awesome, really, let me tell you how fun it is to think you're going to be blind.

so anyway, that's the stroke thing. i've had two strokes and i'm only 23.

but that's not all! they have also discovered a few other strange things. one is that the lining of my uterus is somehow messed up - i think i talk about that in another post in here.

the most recent thing, the horrible thing, is that in my last MRI they discovered that i have a 'tangle of blood vessels' in my brain now. what the hell does that mean? well, i can't really tell you. my neurologist thinks that maybe i hopefully don't have to worry about it, it's not a big deal. other people at the hospital disagree. i'm going to be going down to johns hopkins in the near future to get a second opinion.

so since i was 11 i have been dealing with this. i understand, anyone could die at any time, of course, that's a given. you could get hit by a car, who knows. but for more than half my life i've been dealing with the fact that my chances of having an actual stroke are really high. something like 40 percent of the people who have TIAs have strokes afterwards. so i'm pretty much just biding my time until then.

kind of one of those things where every day i wake up and i'm like 'hey, cool, i'm still alive.'

actually lately when i wake up in the morning it's kind of more like 'damnit.' but that's a different story altogether.

but does anyone care?
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09 oct 2006 @ 00:09 (pas de sujets)

okay finally finally i am going to write about sxsw but it is probably going to be not as long as i hoped. although i will probably edit this in the future and make it longer, as i remember more stuff, because i am writing this basically from my memory (and it was more than half a year ago and i was pretty much constantly drunk) and from pictures i took that i just found in my photobucket. and felt guilty about never writing about.

it's not that i dont like writing, i really like it; it's just that when something feels like an obligation i have a tendency to put it off. it is bad of me, but oh well.

so anyway, sxsw.

WEDNESDAY

wednesday morning toni and i drove to ginou's house, and ginou's father drove us to the airport. he is a real awesome dad. we took the plane to houston, i think, but it might have been dallas, i dont remember, and then had to transfer to another plane from there to get to austin. but the airline (american airlines, HIGHLY NOT RECOMMENDED) had screwed up our tickets and only two were together and another one was way in the back with some other people. since i had a book (the niebelungenlied!) and my ipod, i opted to sit by myself so toni and ginou could talk to each other. of course i sat next to two people who were hardcore making out the whole time. hottt.

we got to austin and took a taxi to our hotel. (the hilton). it was nice, and big, but not even close to as nice as the hilton in nyc. that's a fact. we unpacked our stuff and hit the town. actually first we hit the place where we had to get our sxsw badges, which were very important (and expensive). then we looked at our schedule for the night. the one band we really wanted to see was belle and sebastian and they werent playing until 11 so we decided to walk around for a while and scope things out.

AUSTIN IS AN AWESOME FUCKING CITY, we discovered.

we ate at some restaurant/bar, i dont know what it was called, and i called this kid john i know who lives in austin. he was like 'oh that restaurant, i know a girl who works there, it is very good.' so, we ate, then we left to do something else, probably see a band but i forget who. then toni realized she had forgotten her camera in the restaurant! i called john austin again and he was actually at that restaurant then so he asked the girl he knew and she said 'oh yes, i found that camera'. and the day was saved. hurrah!

then john austin invited us to go see some bands that were playing at a sort of not-sponsered-by-sxsw thing that was going on. we walked down to see those bands, and they were pretty good, but then we had to leave to see belle and sebastian. i am pretty sure that a sort of creepy and annoying guy walked with us when we left. i believe he was drunk, and we didnt know him. i dont remember if john austin came too, or not. (i am sorry it has been a while).

so we got to where belle and sebastian were playing and the line was incredibly long. we were sad because we thought we could never ever get in, so we went to see other bands instead. we saw a band called the hot springs, from canada, and they were very good. then, i dont know what we did, but i know we killed an hour (probably saw more bands, but i dont remember who) and then we went to see the go! team. but i was so, so tired, that i only stayed for about 15 minutes and then i went back to the hotel room to go to sleep. fin wednesday.

THURSDAY!

i am pretty sure that on thursday i slept until lord knows when. i dont remember realy what we did during the day, either, although i'm pretty sure that's the day jimmy got there with an albatross and we saw an albatross play a show. (<2 jimmy!) so, anyway, fast forward through the day that i dont remember and get to: THENIGHTTIME.

morrissey was playing at 930 so we headed over really early to see him. we also wanted to catch richard hawley who was opening for him. and corrinne bailey rae, she was opening for him too. so we got there at like 730, and (shades of belle and sebastian) THE LINE WAS ABOUT A MILE LONG, and i am not exaggerating. it was really super long. we were like fuuuuuuuuck. some lady was walking down the line saying 'hey, sorry, moz is completely sold out, there is no way you are getting in, everyone go somewhere else, sorry.' then she got to us and saw our BADGES and was like 'hi, you guys can just go to the front of the line, you dont have to wait.' let me tell you about the stares of death we got from all other people who had to stand in line. haha, actually i wont tell you, you can just imagine. STARES OF DEATH.

but whatever, we were upset because we realized that we could have gotten to see belle and sebastian! so it was like, on one hand, hey cool we get to go right into morrissey. but on the other hand, damnit!

corinne bailey rae was awesome, and so was richard hawley. during richard hawley's set these incredibly jock-like creep dudes were hitting on me and i wasnt really appreciating it. then suddenly out of nowhere comes my hero! patrick!

PATRICK is an awesome guy from austin. he came up and said 'hello, do you know who the first guy was who played, he was very good.' and i said 'richard hawley!' then somehow we started talking about other things, like how i am from holland and patrick wants to move there, and he is a physicist and i LOVE physics. the two creepy hitting-on-me guys got pretty upset that i wasnt even pretending to pay attention to them anymore - they didnt realize that patrick is gay - and made some dumb comments to me like 'oh, who is your new friend,' as if they had any right to care. ah well.

so after morrissey there was supposed to be some 'super secret special guest' and then goldfrapp was coming on. calla was playing too, at the same time as 'super secret special guest' but me, ever the optimist, i was like what if secret person is billy bragg! because i know he and moz are chummy. so i made everyon wait... for a long time, actually an hour, and then goldfrapp came on! the duplicity of it all! there WAS NO super secret guest! i was upset. we left. patrick came too!

here is morrissey, a dapper gentleman

we ran to see an albatross play, and see jimmy again, and it was awesome. and then we went to see eagles of death metal play, and that was also awesome. the dudes in that band are TALL, it is the truth. they walked in right next to me and i was kind of scared, i am pretty sure they are each 6'9" or so. like they could be their own basketball team. i was intimidated. they were good though. FIN THURSDAY

FRIDAY

i think friday was the day i got up kind of early and walked with gino to the gigantic wholefoods in austin. we bought lots of food, and it was raining a bit, and we walked back to the hotel and ate it and watched some tv i think. there was also an anti-war protest going on in town and that was interesting to watch. then it was time to see billy bragg do his talk interview thing! it was so awesome! i love billy bragg i think he is just a really amazing dude, very talented and he uses his powers for good, not evil. we walked into the building where the interview was gonna be and i saw him just walking around. i am not very easily star-struck; in fact i dont believe i have ever been 'star-struck,' but when i saw him i almost had a heart attack. hahaa i was like 'THATS BILLY BRAGG OMG' in a very loud whisper to toni and ginou. then we went into the room and sat down.

interesting protest times in the rain

it was a pretty small room and not too many people were there; toni and i were easily the youngest and we were also in the very minority of girls. he spoke about a lot of things, his book coming out, his music, activism, the clash, everything that is important about being billy bragg. afterwards people got to meet him! so i got in line and shook his hand and kissed him on the cheek! now that is incredible because he is really a hero of mine and how many people get to meet their heroes? not many, i reckon.

i said 'i have been listening to you for 11 years now' and he said 'how is that possible? what are you, 16?' har har. i guess he's not used to seeing 23 year old girls telling him about how much he means to them. after that was over i actually went in the other room and cried a little bit. out of being so happy! haha. i dont care if you make fun of me it is the truth.

then we went to eat more, and crossed the river to the other side where there was another thing going on. still sxsw but different bands, more country and bluegrassy. it was cool. i dont remember who the bands were though. and i think that this was the day i saw tom phillips and paul yavarone too! they were riding bikes and yelled 'hey mandy!' and i was very confused as to who would know my name in texas. but it was them! haha. good times.

and then we went to a party which was being given by ginou's friend alex. there was an open bar involved. i got nicely trashed. i was telling everyone i met billy bragg. ginou's friend alex is very nice, and there was another fellow who was talking to me who was in the band pompeii i believe. he gave me a pin which i put on my jeans and i still have - otherwise there's no way i would have remembered what band he is in. and kiss kiss played, and they are very good. patrick came with us to the party and he and toni drank a bit and then left; i stayed and did jaeger shots? i think. then ginou walked me home. he was yelling at the grackles - or brackles? i dont remember, they are these crazy ubiquitous birds in austin.

the guy from the loved ones (they are very good)

and then, a funny thing that i am still kind of (very) embarassed about, even though it was really nothing: billy bragg walked out of the hilton - where we were staying - and i saw him across the street and i started yelling 'LOOK ITS BILLY BRAGG' hahaha. he walked away pretty quick. i'm sure he didnt see me but haha it was funny.

so we went back to the hotel where i had a bit of a thing, you see i hate television and there was a big television and i was throwing things and ginou told me to throw the tv out the window; and when i am drunk i am very susceptible to the powers of suggestion and i really wanted to do it. but i didnt, so the thing was not really a thing at all.

then we went to see the loved ones! and i drank more. we got into their set early (badges again!) and got to see them run through all their songs once for practice. then they started to play and it was awesome because they are very good. the guy, the singer guy, dave i think his name is, said at one point 'who has everyone seen so far' and i yelled 'billy bragg!' i was only about two feet away from the stage at the time. so the guy dave said 'hey, billy bragg, that's cool' or something like that and then toni yelled 'she kissed him!' haha.

then! we ate - or maybe we ate before that, i'm not sure. this was on saint patrick's day so there was a lot of other stuff going on too. we saw billy bragg play again and then saw the arctic monkeys. and then neko case! FIN FRIDAY

SATURDAY

i am pretty sure on saturday we went out to breakfast with ginou's cousin and her family. that was pretty sweet. also, just so everyone knows, it's kind of hard to get vegetarian food in austin unless you are at the kind of place that would obviously serve it. i mean, this regular breakfast place, i remember having to look pretty hard through the menu before i found something. i dont remember what it was though.

patrick all wet after being in the pool getting my bed all wet

actually i'm pretty sure i've got something screwed up, because i think saturday actually ginou's friend alex came by and they all went to breakfast with him, and i stayed at the hotel and slept for a while. i forgot to take my medication and i didn't feel so well.

but whichever one it was, later on saturday (i think it was saturday? i really should have written this a couple months ago) patrick came over again and he and ginou and toni and i all went swimming in the awesome hilton pool. we definitely didnt take advantage enough of all the amenities the hilton had to offer. and THEN we went to see richard hawley again, and then paint it black played at emo's, and that was really good too.

then some other stuff, i dont remember what, and then ginou and i went to a HOOTENANNY where a lot of awesome people played: RAMBLIN' JACK ELLIOTT, and BILLY BRAGG, and GREG GRAFFIN, and some other people. i had been drinking then too, so even though the hootenanny lasted for like 2 hours, i fell asleep sort of halfway through. oh well. FIN SATURDAY

sunday!!

sunday, i think, was the day we went home. but first we went to a breakfast buffet! ginou and i did, anyway. toni slept. and then, i think, we walked all the way up to where the university was, to say goodbye to toni's english friend alec who was going to school there. then we took a bus back to the hotel, finished packing, and took a taxi to the airport.

paint it black! another terrific band

paint it black! another terrific band.
AND AMERICAN AIRLINES FUCKED US OVER AGAIN. we got into dallas (or houston? haha still dont remember) after our plane was delayed for about a million years, and then there was a lot of flooding or something so they wouldn't let our plane fly out! they took about a thousand years, then finally put us up in a horrible hotel. it was so gross and disgusting. i thought i was going to get lice or crabs or syphilis or something from staying there. and then we had to get up at like 7 am to get the next plane; which was delayed! again! augh! american airlinessssss!

anyway though, we got home okay and then i got a haircut.

there was a LOT MORE STUFF going on, but that is all i can remember right now okay? give me a break. i have more pictures too but i dont feel like putting them up. SO DEAL. if you want to see it so much, you should have gone!

but does anyone care?
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08 oct 2006 @ 23:00 (pas de sujets)

musique actuelle: h2o - fttw

this is pretty old, i had it up on myspace i dont know why i never put it here:

sxsw, prologue

our plane was leaving on wednesday. so it starts out that toni and i were supposed to drive ginous thuis the night before, the tuesday night, and sleep there, and then we would have been all sorts of on time for everything that ever happened in our lifetime, or any lifetime to come, or anything like that. but that didnt happen.

my grandmother died earlier in the week. on monday, in fact, monday morning, the 13th, my mother woke up me at 3.30 am to tell me. she had been sick for a while and in hospital so we were pretty well aware that it was going to happen but we were not so well aware that it was going to happen then. in fact i count myself among the luckiest people of the earth in that i had actually spoken to her on sunday afternoon briefly, only to tell her i loved her and i missed her very much and i hoped to see her soon. within 16 hours she was dead. i love you oma, i miss you very much, i hope to see you soon.

so. i didnt make it to work on monday, and my mother bought a plane ticket to fly back to holland and spend the time leading up to the service (in holland there are not really many burials, usually only cremations), and monday was a very busy day of packing for my mother and helping her deal, and fording many phone calls and well-wishers when my family really wanted to be left alone with our grief. patti brought my mother to the airport around 3 - her plane was leaving around 7.

i got a phone call at 7.15 from barbara - 'your mother got off the plane.' now it seems that for someone who is primarily supposed to avoid stress, my own life has been conspiring against me. 'she did WHAT?' 'she had a panic attack and got off the plane!' then barbara hung up. for about an hour i was unable to reach anyone. finally patti called, with my mother in the car, coming home. my poor mother, claustrophobic and afraid to fly, had gotten as far as the inside of the plane before the walls started to close in and she panicked.

monday night was spent cutting out pictures of oma and emailing them to relatives across the sea. i told my mother that if she wanted me to give up texas and go with her to holland, i would do it; there are very few things that are more important than music but family is definitely one of them. she refused - she said without heavy medication there was no way she would be able to get inside a plane and she wouldnt be able to get that before i was supposed to leave for texas, so i should leave for texas and have fun.

tuesday i spent a few hours at work, and then came home and spent time with my mother again. i began to realize later in the evening that i hadnt packed anything for myself yet in the turmoil of the previous days, so i threw half the clothes i owned into a bag and hoped it wouldnt be too much. conversely i hoped i wasnt forgetting anything. some more well-wishers came by to offer condolences - including my boss, which was unexpected and very nice of him - and i named a star after my grandmother on the international star registry. Albertje Hendrikje Dekoning Faken. it was exactly the allowed length, so i was lucky, and it's in the constellation Scorpius. zij staat bij de sterren.

so. then i drove to tonis, and by then it was like 1030 or 11, so we just went to sleep instead of going to ginous as was the original plan. and so far i havent written anything yet of sxsw. i swear i will though, i just wanted to write about that first.

but does anyone care?
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24 juil 2006 @ 22:09 i made this

humeur actuelle:

scared
musique actuelle: bob dylan - masters of war

Tags: iraq , war

and i thought about putting it on a t-shirt, but then i thought most people probably dont even know what iraq looks like.

most people in america, anyway. i dont want to speak for the rest of the world. i'm SURE everyone who lives in the middle east could pick it out of a lineup.

i'm just saying, if i wore it out to a bar, i'd probably just confuse people.

but does anyone care?
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21 mar 2006 @ 23:03 i kissed billy bragg.

i kissed billy bragg.

More later.

but does anyone care?
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11 déc 2005 @ 01:11 (pas de sujets)

musique actuelle: archers of loaf - death in the park

there are a lot of things i need to write about

A. school
B. my awesome awesome job
C. last weekend
D. the weekend before that
E. tomorrow
F. christmas presents!

i will have to do all that another time though, as i need to publish a paper by wednesday

but does anyone care?
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24 oct 2005 @ 20:47 SNAKES ON A PLANE 2: PLANES ON A SNAKE

Snakes on a Plane! by merde
Username
Name of Airline
Type of Plane
Samuel L. Motherfuckin' Jackson	rocklikespock
The insane, snake-wrangling assassin	cocodub
The gutsy pilot who doesn't make it	ximprettygayx
The nubile, plucky flight attendant	mulletkill
The loudmouthed jerk who won't shut up	_dellamorte
The clever, snake-obsessed kid	ginmar
The worried single mom:	jimmybuttons
How many snakes	257,556
How much does the film gross	$18,352,180,341

Quiz created with MemeGen!

but does anyone care?
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03 sep 2005 @ 14:32 of course, duh.

musique actuelle: unicorns - les os

white people are victims, black people are criminals. duh, america. could it be any more obvious? this clip is one of the more amazing things i've been able to see in my life i love you kanye west.

the rest of crooksandliars.com is pretty much astounding as well. i didnt think it was possible for me to hate our government more than i already did, but it seems they are really out to prove me wrong and show me just how incredibly horrible they can be.

but does anyone care?
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02 sep 2005 @ 23:57 i am running out of optimism

humeur actuelle:

uncomfortable
musique actuelle: transistor transistor - i am the goddamn devil

juliet was waiting with a safety net
she said 'dont bury me cos i'm not dead yet'

well i recently got a raise, 12 dollars an hour not bad. and nice clothings and school schedule seems not so bad other than having to write a 30 page paper to be published by december. that's okay though, done it before. teach me to get too comfortable with the way things are going.

i found out today that i may have to have terrific awesome surgery on my insides. this is hard for me to wrap my head around - i mean i didnt even have surgeries when i had a stroke and they thought they might to able to fool around in my head and help things out, they said it was too risky because i might bleed out on the table. but now for my endometrium in my uterus and some shadowly follicles on my ovaries as well as other problems on other body insidy-bits, i might have to have someone cut me open like a side of meats and fuck around with what is supposed to stay on the inside. this makes it hard to be optimistic. i dont know where my normal fount of optimism originates, but it seems to have run fairly dry. i think i am going to have to just try and take everything as it comes and stop planning ahead so much, because i doubt any plans i make now will come to fruition as i want them to. uggghhh ... i dont know how to deal with anything if i havent got anything to look ahead to. but i dont want to lie to myself about anything either. i told ginou that if i end up in the hospital the best thing he could do for me is send me candy and/or come visit me, preferably the latter and not the former. that pretty much goes for everyone - i think that looking just slightly past any operation is the best i can do right now. so lets all make plans to come see me pretend not to be suffering through post-op. thats the most pleasant thing i can make myself think of right now, since i guess the alternatives are pretty unpleasant to say the least.

also i hear bad things have happened to dan skokos. that is absolutely terrible and i feel so bad for that poor kid.

also i just heard 'stairway to heaven' for the first time on tuesday night. i was thoroughly derided. i cant help it, i pretty much hate classic rock. i also saw my dad today. that was nice, he hardly ever manages to do anything without screwing things up for me. today he sort of managed not to fuck up anything. sort of.

alright im gonna go to bed and try to stop thinking.

but does anyone care?
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22 aoû 2005 @ 18:33 (pas de sujets)

humeur actuelle:

sick
musique actuelle: billy bragg - waiting for the great leap forward

it may have been camelot for jack and jacqueline...

i cant even think of all the things which have been going on. i got a job at a consignment store which is amazing, filled with designer clothes which i lust for. and they are cheap. i also saw my highschool friend brian in the 507 bar a few weeks ago and he offered me a job at the website he works for, so i'm doing that too. keeping myself occupied with work.
i saw spamalot with my mom a few weeks ago, that was fun. i also went to atlantic city with paul and nick came and met us there. he brought christina, who is completely, completely awesome. they are like when i hang out with christina and nick i am dazzled by awesomeness. paul left for tour, i'm sad about that.
i went to a party on a rooftop in brooklyn with nick and christina and isaac and mel. that was delightful as well. i love isaac and mel. before paul left i went to a barbecue at dan moller's house as well and that was fun. dan moller is a rad person.
jimmie mueller found me on myspace and that was exciting - i havent seen him in like 8 years. he's the most hardcore kid ever, and he's so lucky he was exactly the right age to see it all.
this past weekend was wild though. i only slept for about 6 hours total. on friday toni came here in the morning and she and i took the train up to new york. we met up with pat from new brunswick and alec toni's friend from england. it was lots of fun, we went out and had really good italian food, and then saw the new bill murray movie, broken flowers. and then went and got lost trying to find the knitting factory. not lost lost, we just got off one subway stop too far and then walked the wrong way. but we totally got there in time to see none more black and paul delaney looks like a total crazy metalhead dude. it's pretty much awesome. i tried to give him a hug after the show but he was like 'naah im too sweaty' and gave me a stupid half hug and talked to me for a minute. thats nice i love getting brushed off. then we came back home. i had been talking up pete and eldas to toni all day and promised her we would go for dinner, but after we got back to long branch and erin picked us up and drove us the rest of the way so we wouldnt have to wait for our connecting train, we were too tired to go out again. so we just ate a lot of watermelon and went to sleep.
saturday when we woke up we went to the porch for some french onion soup. it was delicious of course. then out for gelato and we met up with jimmie mueller. after that erin came by, and we all headed to the movies to see the aristocrats. we met christina and jackie there. god i love christina. her friend jackie was pretty rad too. the movie was totally hilarious. then what... we went to pete and elda's and saw kevin there. i put in my name to be seated but they told us the wait was going to be an hour and a half, and meanwhile more people kept showing up. mario came, and dan moeller, and swapna. it was totally rad. so we just ordered like 90 dollars worth of take out pizza and brought it back to erins house.
we sat around there for a few hours eating - brian and cindy came by to show off brians hot new bike, and nick showed up sort of unexpectedly. he didnt have insurance on his car but he drove it anyway. toni re-told the aristocrats for everyone who hadnt seen it and she did better than anyone in the movie did*. jon called me to invite me to his house for a party, but i was having way to much fun to do something so stupidly masochistic as that would have been. although he said oliver was there, and probably ean was too. i miss oliver and ean - i talked to ean the other day he is so sweet. aside: it would have been nice if oliver told he was around, but whatever, he never does so it doesnt really matter anymore. ok sorry, end aside. swapna left, and after eating we headed out to the lanes - don from wilkes barre was there for a rockabilly show and i didnt want to miss him. however, i did miss him, and it made me sad. we got in only having to pay 5 dollars instead of the 10 cover that everyone was afraid of since it was so late in the night. erin and tom didnt come though, and neither did christina and jackie; the former went to sleep i think, the latter went to a party in oceanport.
at the lanes there were some really good bands playing and we bowled until 2 am. our group was down to just nick kevin dan mario jimmie toni and i, and jimmie's friend izzy who apparantly i used to know when i was little but i totally dont remember anymore. i bowled nice and terribly like i always do. at 2 they kicked us out and we drove to kevin's house to watch movies. at least we tried to drive - nick got pulled over. remember that whole no insurance thing? right. he gave the cop his expired card and the cop was really good about it, he just gave nick a summons to exhibit proper insurance. the next day. that's a downer.
then we went to kevins and watched brian regan dvd. it was hilarious, we all laughed forever. i fell asleep actually. kevin has a huge huge huge crush on toni, it is the cutest thing ever. but by the time the dvd was over it was like 430 or something and toni nick and mario were sleeping over my house. this was a little worrisome for me since my mother before leaving had specifically said 'no drinking and then staying over for anyone here.' but i figured, since no one had been drinking at my house, i wasnt really disobeying her. however i was still worried - guilty conscience i guess - and slept very poorly. we had to get up at like 930 anyway so i could get everyone awake and ready to leave. i had to be at work by a quarter of 11.
so i hurried everyone on their way - mario back home, toni to philly to meet up with alec again, and nick back home to find an insurance card which wasnt expired and then to hurry back to bradley beach. which he did. thank god. work was fine, a few hours of tedium since i forgot to bring a book and there were no new clothes for me to browse. then i left and met up with nick and christina again at be green. we saw dan yemin there ordering food and trying to get one of the guys from r5 on the stone pony guestlist. that was funny.
then the lifetime show. amazing. i havent seen lifetime in a million years, obviously. and i havent seen the bouncing souls in more than a year. i saw the loved ones last year in trenton with none more black, that was a good show, but they've improved muchly since then. in my opinion anyway. the bouncing souls ruled of course - greg is growing out his hair, or badly needs a haircut, and he is still the second cutest lead singer in show business. and then lifetime rocked so hard. i almost died. really though, i got knocked down and almost died. also i got kicked in the head. in general it was an awesome show. afterwards nick and christina went with me to the sev, and then they had to leave to catch the train from ... where ever nick's dad lives, where he leaves his car, back into philly. so last night i got to go to sleep fairly early, like 12 or something.
but this morning i woke up at 8 thinking brian would want to go into work early, which of course he didnt - in fact he didnt even get to my house until 11. ahh i love five hour workdays - we left early so dan and brian could go fishing. my favourite. so now i'm back home - i was supposed to see kid dynamite tonight but chris and raab said they're not selling tickets, they're just letting you pay as you go in, so there's no way at all that i would be able to make it up there and get in. if they could have gotten me tickets, then yes, but as it is, no way. oh well, at least i saw lifetime. and there will be more chances to see grey area i think, i hear they are going to be playing more shows.
and on wednesday, hopefully i will be taking the bus into philly to see <2<2<2 JIMMY BUTTONS and christina and nick and the plastic letters! that is, if i'm not too sick - i'm going to the doctor tomorrow. he'll see whats up.

*the baby has to land dick first into the shit.

i dont know why i bother typing out things like this. actually yeah i do, it makes me laugh to read them again later. i love lamp.

i miss paul! i miss all my BFFs! i miss julie and lyn a lot too. damnit. why cant i get all my ducks in a row for once? hahaha wouldnt that be something. i need to get used to not seeing people if i'm moving across the sea. i cant wait until i go to rome in november. HURRAH!

but does anyone care?
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20 juil 2005 @ 01:46 (pas de sujets)

musique actuelle: anouk - michel

in a perfect world we'd all sing in tune
but this is reality so give me some room

new idea. KUNG FU PARTY.

hey oliver remember that time you gave me a concussion?

but does anyone care?
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19 juil 2005 @ 10:32 (pas de sujets)

musique actuelle: decemberists

edited sunday january 15 2006 19:12
some were sweet and some were cruel and snuffed you
and some just laid around in bed
some they crumbled you straight to your knees
did it cruel, did it tenderly
some they crawled their way into your heart
to rend your ventricles apart

i saw charlie and the chocolate factory yesterday. i thought it was really good - i loved it actually. they took the weirdo poems that roald dahl actually wrote and put them to music and took out that weirdo golden goose bit from the other movie. i thought johnny depp was a bit of a creep though but still really funny. i dont know why they put in the extra father subplot though... it always seemed to me like willy wonka was awesome just because he was such a mysterious nutcase. but okay whatever. tim burton + johnny depp can do no wrong in my eyes. im excited for corpse bride as well.
also julie came to see me! hurrah! she is the best. she brought her boyfriend too who is very nice but he is allergic to animals so i felt bad for him in my house since it is animal fur central what with all the cats and dog. we ate sushi and got gelato. very awesome.

there are people who i havent talked to in a long time who i thought i just hadnt spoken to because i or they had been busy. it turns out, or at least its seeming to turn out, that it was in fact because they were avoiding me. at least two seperate people perhaps more. this is interesting and warrants closer inspection.

and, because i said i would:

briandoddsucks: but you are a hipster. this could be dangerious.
mandy vigilante: its worth it
mandy vigilante: im not a hipster, shut up
briandoddsucks: oh cmon
mandy vigilante: i wish i were
mandy vigilante: then i'd have more firends
briandoddsucks: look at you! LOOK AT YOU!
mandy vigilante: even though they'd be fake friends
briandoddsucks: look, i like you.
mandy vigilante: thanks but no one else does
briandoddsucks: you're a nice hipster. i bet you don't smell too bad.
mandy vigilante: hahaha
mandy vigilante: i JUST took a shower
mandy vigilante: the only thing that smells bad about me sometimes is my hair but only if i put it up for too long
briandoddsucks: and im yet to see any sign of hipster tourettes.
briandoddsucks: but you are totally a hipster.
mandy vigilante: whats hipster tourettes?
mandy vigilante: like if i were to call something 'deck'
briandoddsucks: ha
briandoddsucks: no, thats just fucking lame.
mandy vigilante: I KNOW BRAH DECK IS TOTALLY FIN
briandoddsucks: hipster tourettes is when i say "george bush" under my breath and six stinky kids in the room scream "FUCK GEORGE BUSH"
mandy vigilante: THIS CONVO IS SO GOING UP IN MY LJ
mandy vigilante: hahahah
mandy vigilante: well i'm not such a bush fan
briandoddsucks: LIVEJOURNAL
briandoddsucks: fucking hipster.
mandy vigilante: but im very out of the arguing against bushie loop
mandy vigilante: since i've been in france and everything there is so anti anti anti anti bush
mandy vigilante: i dont even know what he's been up to recently unless it actually DID involve eating children
briandoddsucks: oh, i dont care, neither am i. but i have REASONS for it. i have a fucking opinion that im will to express, and im willing to listen to other people's opinions too.
briandoddsucks: ha.
briandoddsucks: god, france. you even went on the hipster pilgrimage.
mandy vigilante: i was there for school
mandy vigilante: jerkface

but does anyone care?
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17 juil 2005 @ 18:01 (pas de sujets)

musique actuelle: billy bragg - she smiled sweetly

the ones who love us least are the ones well die to please
if its any consolation - i dont begin to understand them

i didnt go to silk city last night. sorry ginou. i do hope you had a happy birthday and i wish i saw you but i couldnt wait around for that long. my head was splitting open. i have this new migraine medication i'm supposed to take because they're getting worse but i dont want to take it so instead i just sit and sleep them off.

probably going to a punk show with a migraine wasnt the best idea to begin with. i couldnt concentrate on driving and so i got sort of lost in philly. nick had to help me out; he missed the briggs because he was waiting outside for me to get there. he is the nicest person ever. after the show i was kinda hoping i could just sit at his house for a little while and wait for my headache to go away or at least subside a little, but his girlfriend i guess has problems with him hanging out with other girls and she gave him a hard time on the phone so i left. he said i didnt have to and it was okay and he liked to see me because he hadnt seen me in so long but i dont want to get in between anyones relationships and cause problems. that is not something i ever want to do. but some girls are really stupid. nick is the best; why would she be jealous of him? obviously he wouldnt do anything to hurt her. besides if you cant trust your own boyfriend who can you trust? haha oh my god i cant believe i just typed that. thats really funny - i realized as i was typing it exactly what i was typing - and i meant it too. fuck, i really am naïve, arent i.

i was telling oliver before that i'm the unhappiest i can remember being in a long time. i think it's a combination of jetlag and missing my french friends and having terrible nightmares again and being too lachrymose to do much at all and too lazy and uninspired to do anything.

i wanted to see charlie and the chocolate factory today, i thought i was going with brian. but then paul wanted to go to the driving range instead; which is fine, i dont care except i didnt want to go. i dont think thats so much fun really. so i came home. i think paul is angry with me over that. not actually angry but he was like 'you go away for two months and i'm leaving in two weeks so we dont have much time to see each other and you just want to go home and sleep.' its not true, obviously i do want to see him but im not really a fan of golf, at all, at all. i hate when people are angry with me over stupid things. i like to just sit and hang out a lot of the time; i dont have to always be doing something. driving range - just not my bag. well whatever.

i wonder why i lie so much about sleeping. i really do; whenever people ask me what i'm doing or what i'm gonna do or what did i do all day oftentimes my stock answer is 'i was sleeping' or 'i took a nap' which is almost always untrue. i try not to sleep during the day because then i cant sleep at night almost at all. even when im doing something pretty constructive or interesting i still tend to say 'oh i was sleeping.' i think its a habit left over from the really severe insomnia days when i would tell people i have trouble sleeping at night because i slept all day, which was never actually true. and then i would go to random places on the train and end up sleeping on park benches. well now i have a car so when i drive too far at night i can sleep in the car at least; although i've never actually done that yet in this car. it seems like it would be more comfortable than the saturn.

i also lost all the love letters i used to have. some of them were very sweet emails which i just realized yahoo deleted - i even lost the picture marc drew of he and i. but i cant find the box of things i used to keep. thats pretty depressing as well.

jimmy wants to test out my webcam? or something. i dont know, but i have to go.

but does anyone care?
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16 juil 2005 @ 12:24 quelle dommage

musique actuelle: b&s

you're worth the trouble and you're worth the pain
you're worth the worry i would do the same
if we all went back to another time
i would love you over

all i want is to make this seem easy for me so no one thinks about it or asks me about it. i think its working.

im going to see the suicide machines today, and then to silk city for britpop night and ginou's birthday! and i got a job. at a consignment boutique. well i dont have it YET but i see green lights.

the word out on the street is you are starving

but does anyone care?
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15 juil 2005 @ 23:19 qui de nous deux inspire l'autre?

musique actuelle: M - qui de nous deux

Last night I felt
Real arms around me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm

email i got today from the flute playing boxing champion:

... so "the One who everywhere follows us " didn't let you leave so easily?!
well, now come back on your steps and meet me again... in this life, if
possible... possible?

that's awesome.

also i'm in love with M, officially. i didnt get to see any of his videos while i was in france. how cool is he? seriously. men in crazy suits singing in high voices NEVER fail to impress.

but does anyone care?
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14 juil 2005 @ 20:31 we dance to all the wrong songs.

humeur actuelle: i dont know actually
musique actuelle: apples in stereo - look away

Tags: france

friends who dont have a clue
well-meaning teachers
but down in your arms, in your arms
i am a wild creature

happy bastille day! or whatever they say in france, i'm not sure.

today my ipod ran out of battery for the first time. it was sad, i was singing and dancing with the mountain goats in my car and then suddenly i was singing and dancing alone.

by the way i'm back in les etats-unis.

so france was amazing fantastic and im homesick for it now, which is kind of funny. we spent some time in strausburg, on the german border, and went into germany a couple times. it was awesome; germany is much cheaper than france. we went to paris again as well, lyn and i. i met toni's boyfriend mat and his very very cute friend whose name i think was brian?

i also met an ex-movie directing, flute playing, bareknuckle boxing champion guy named yanouv. now THAT is exciting. easily one of the most interesting persons i have ever had the chance to meet. i got his email address; we are going to correspond. he says he wants to know all of my stories, because i told him i didnt have the time to tell him any.

and i sat next to a very attractive boy on the plane. lyn and i sat in our seats and she was at the window, then me, then the boy. lyn whispers 'that boy is very attractive.' i agree. lyn goes to sleep. i talk to the boy about politics for a few hours, then we make out hardcore. i didnt join the mile high club. although i probably should have; i got pretty close. i fell asleep on him. later lyn wakes up. 'oh i noticed you fell asleep on the cute boy, lucky for you.'
oh lyn you have no idea how lucky for me. israeli boys apparantly give out orgasms like they was candy.

i told mario about that. he said 'ew gross just some random guy?' i'm all yeah, so what? who cares. then he tells me about this new girl he's seeing, and how he is upset because we were both single at the same time and he feels like he missed his chance with me. that, i think, is so cute. although obviously all he has to do is wait around until i get drunk again.

which reminds me i smoked some of swapna's pot. being stoned is not so good for me. i think mind altering substances in general just arent really my thing.

tomorrow is kill crush destroys last show, they are playing in manasquan. im trying to get julie to come. if she does i will be so excited! but she will hate the music i bet.

pool party at erins tonight. i saw jourdan today in redbank. i love that girl so hard.

i have a lot a lot a lot more to talk about but i dont feel like doing it all right now.

meanwhile...

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swapna and i in front of the pantheon! most dead people EVER. actually in paris i went to the catacombs as well... seriously, more dead people there than i can ever imagine. i've never been in such close proximity to ... well ... millions of skellingtons. seriously. all stacked up and you could just lick em. if you wanted. there was no one around to judge you. very creepy.

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thats me doing my best mary impression. jackie, swapna, julie, me, and lyn.

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chenonceau. i think that is how it is spelled. prettiest castle EVAR.

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right so this is me seriously abusing the only spicy thing i found in france. it was a bottle of olive oil filled up with peppers. i seriously drenched my bread in it. it was SO GOOD. that restaurant was delicious and amazing. and thats marieke behind me. coolest girl ever.

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ah germany. how nice. and cheap. and full of lovely fountains and ugly churches, compared to the ones we saw in france. although im sure germany has lovely churches as well, we just didnt see them. we DID see crazy bus drivers who dropped us off in the middle of nowhere though. yay germany!

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now this is me in chenonceau again. there were tomatos growing. i didnt eat them, they were too green. but how i wanted them!

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again in strausburg. swapna, lyn and i.

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this is also strausburg although it looks very much like holland. i showed it to my mom and she got seriously homesick. i did too, while i was there.

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lyn and i on the EIGHT FUCKING HOUR FUCKING BUSRIDE TO STRAUSBURG.

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lyn and i in a restaurant; i think the same one as above.

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here is an example of the way lyn tells stories. with her hands. she is crazy. i look pretty pissed in this picture, i'm not sure why because im sure i was severely entertained by lyns storytelling antics.

but does anyone care?
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03 juil 2005 @ 20:37 what she said:

humeur actuelle:

lonely
musique actuelle: the smiths, duh

Tags: france

'how come someone hasn't noticed that i'm dead
and decided to bury me?
god knows, i'm ready'
la la de da dum da
what she said was sad
but then, all the rejections she's had,
to pretend to be happy
could only be idiocy.

today everyone left for parijs but lyn and i, we are leaving tomorrow morning. the other day we had dinner in a very fancy french restaurant - it took them four hours to serve us a four course meal which was amazing. i ate a bunny! its funny; every time i go out pretty much i end up having to eat meat - it has pretty much gotten to the point where i'm used to not really having a choice which doesnt involve meat. but i have no choice, apparantly france is not keen on the non-carnivores in the crowd. afterwards we went out and drank a bit for lyn's birthday and went to a club. there are two sets of boys which are stalking lyn and i; we saw one set before we got to the club but they didnt see us thank god.

we had a cheese tasting party recently as well. it was so awesome. and then we had a cheese plate at the restaurant. apparantly i have a high tolerance for very strong cheese or something; i always eat the very strong stuff. swapna brought me some very old gouda from holland and she got some for herself and was raving over it; we both love cheese. lyn loves cheese too but more mild stuff like colloumier and brie. she smelled the gouda i had and she said it was disgusting. haha - it is so good! smells like HOME. and there was chevre in like everything we ate the other day... oh man. so good. i love goat cheese and sheep cheese and cow cheese all of them! i could never be vegan. cheese! its funny because julie is taiwanese so she never really ate cheese as a kid so she doesnt know much about it.

lyn, swapna, julie and i are all immigrants or children of immigrants so we were trading funny stories about our crazy parents. when we get home we're all going to julie's house to eat chinese food and to swapna's to eat indian food. it's going to be AMAZING. and swapna is going to take our measurements and buy us cheap awesome skirts and things in india. she says it is incredibly cheap there. i am going to go with her to visit her grandparents next year i'm pretty sure. it's gonna rule; i'm gonna eat mangos all day long. she was telling me about the new pot they saw in holland - it is called orange bud and apparantly it is incredibly strong. but it is also incredibly expensive, so they bought the cheap stuff which she said is still way stronger than in the states. i wouldnt know, having never done any drugs. so she made me promise i would smoke it with her when she comes to visit me there.

we had a terrible professor recently who taught us about the geography of slovenia. it didnt make any sense. why do we care about glaciers? answer: we dont. today the professor we had was a really nice lady she taught us all about islam and turkey and why some european states have a problem with turkey joining the EU. very interesting. she is the one going with us to strausburg - she is just as pissed about rutgers fucking us over as we are. because they fucked her over too. ah well, whatever. it will all work out i suppose, although our hostel is 15 minutes outside of strausburg so i'm not really sure how they intend for us to buy our own meals if there's nowhere around to buy them from. but i am sure we will somehow manage.

today i was harassed by a whole lot of french boys. at one point i was standing on a street corner waiting for the light to turn green so i could cross and a french boy leaned into me as if he were going to kiss my neck. i didnt realize it because i had my head turned to the left but when i looked back over i almost inadvertently kissed the creep. it was so strange and embarassing. and then i had to just stand there next to him as he and his friend laughed at me. then some other guy chased me around the train station trying to get me to have a drink at his house. yeah right. THEN at the supermarket some guy was like OH ENGLISH! give me your phone number! yeah ... right.

yesterday i stole fruit from a tree. then i ate it in a church. i thought that was appropriately symbolic of ... something. i'm not sure what. it was very sour fruit anyway. and then i got kicked out of the church. i guess i dont ever learn.

i got some awesome records today. the smiths and ian dury and the damned and the pogues and i think others; i dont remember. that makes me happy. no really. i swear.
i have gotten SO GOOD at hiding when im sad - no one notices here at all. my mom cant even hear it over the phone.

other things have happened recently but i dont care to remember them. i made an absolute idiot of myself and i really shouldnt have.

happy birthday jon.

but does anyone care?
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26 juin 2005 @ 20:22 (pas de sujets)

musique actuelle: the wedding present... of course

Tags: france

You don't care, now that you're gone
But do you know how much I miss you?
It's not fair after all you've done
That I'm so...
I still want to kiss you

marieke maurice lynn julie and i all went swimming in a lake today! it was awesome and incredibly pretty but i am totally sun burnt. yesterday i did NOT GET TO GO TO THE FURYFEST because paul delaney didnt tell me what was up until way later than i could possibly have made it. it was really annoying and i was totally pissed. not at him, really, i guess, since he DID put me on the guestlist and thats what i really wanted, but just at the situation because i really wanted to go, i'd been looking forward to it for like 398402390432803 years. gah. oh well. i guess it'll be okay or whatever - thats what everything is always supposed to be, okay - eventually. i am just supposed to accept it and wait until im not upset anymore. great.

marieke has a huge book on klimt i was looking through today. its awesome. i miss my schiele book, i need it back from pat. i havent talked to pat since i've been here, i dont know his email address or anything. i wanted to send him a postcard... oh well i guess not. today we were going to go to a new castle but we hit the lake instead. i guess tomorrow, castle. marieke is cooking food for us right now and later we're going to see the interpreter i think. its the only movie in this town other than sin city which is not in french or spanish. and we saw sin city the day before yesterday.

but does anyone care?
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23 juin 2005 @ 16:32 try again!

musique actuelle: sufjan stevens - seven swans

Tags: france

okay so. in school the european union has turned out to be incredible cool to learn about. today and yesterday our teacher was a guy who reminded me really hardcore of eddie izzard and he was fun and smart. everyone we've had so far has been incredibly smart and lynn and i have been asking all sorts of crazy questions and it just gets more and more intriguing how smart these damn europeans are.

the night before last was the fete de la musique all over france. in tours it was crazy they blocked off all the main roads and had bands all over - folk bands and orchestras and just garage bands and whatever. food was cheap and plentiful and the music lasted from 17h to 5h so i was very very tired the next day, which was yesterday. but it was totally totally worth it entirely. there was the biggest crowd i've ever seen in my whole life. i tried absinthe - it was disgusting - really gross.

its going to rain today i can FEEL it. lynn said it wasnt, but i know the weather - i know the clouds - i'm a goddamn meterologist over here.

today they kicked a couple families of political refugees out of the university where they've been squatting seeking political asylum so the town is on something like military lockdown. there's a huge anarcho-protest going on - its been going on for a few weeks, or maybe longer - at least as long as we've been here. but its getting pretty wild, there are like national guard-equivalent vans and personnel on every corner near the university. its wild. so we couldnt go into the computer lab in the unviersity so i am back at the internet cafe here on rue colbert - its nice here but rather hot and also costing me money which is never good.

we have a four day weekend now, starting already. and all the other people are going to amsterdam so lynn and i are hanging out in tours tomorrow - the summer sales start! - and then saturday going to le mans for the fury festival. then sunday we may go either to bordeaux and drink frenchie wine and have lincoln take us out to fancy french dinner and swim in the atlantic, or we might go to some place with marieke's boyfriend maurice called like ... aum? something like that, which is a huge basin carved out of a cliff, where you can swim like. that would be nice because it has been SO FUCKING HOT here lately. i have been just sitting around in my underwear mostly, since nowhere has airconditioning, i just go to my apartment and sit and read in the shade and drink cool orangina and try not to die. its hard.

i've been having some migraines recently too which are never fun, i think they're from the heat. its really oppressive. i cant wait til sales start tomorrow - i have to buy some cooler clothings. i didnt even bring shorts with me! well i brought shorts but not appropriate for walking around here - like very short velour shorts. cool to hang out in - not cool to go do things in. i need like, capris etc. and more skirts. very bohemie.

the rain just started. it is fucking HARD CORED. i knew it would be. raindrops the size of my FISTS. which means the weathers going to be cooler, hopefully.

also everyone else in class has been having massive allergy problems - not me, as i am superior version of human being. the 'v' in 'mandy v' stands for version 2.0. actually thats a lie, but regardless, you all with your stupid sinuses - envy me for i have none. its true - no sinuses in my head, the doctor told me so.

skiz invited me to hang out at his house when i get back. apparantly it is to be skiz, danny and ryan all co-habitating. that will be delightfully awkward.

jon called me last night and it was very nice. i do love to hear from anyone who wants to call. 'hint hint.' but i like hearing from him very much indeed. and oliver invited me to go see a zombie movie with him - and i agreed - like a chump. but i will do it, eggs is eggs.

i am getting tan and skinny. isnt that delightful? my jeans now officially dont fit - i can take them off without undoing the button. and i bought them like a week before i left. ah well, i will have to buy more during the sales! hurrah! hopefully i will conform perfectly to this stupid standard of attractive which is pushed on me in every store, and maybe one day i can just put on the clothing and stand in the window and look like a mannequin. new life goal.

i hope when i get back to the states everyone will have delightful new musical selections for me to listen to. here it's been mostly strike anywhere, the mountain goats, sufjan stevens and the smiths. and various other things - like i listen to at least one spoken word or song by william shatner everyday just to do it because i love him. and i've read like 12 books since i've been here. i'm in the middle of ivanhoe right now - what a fucking amazing book, i can't believe i've never read it before. next up - the hunchback of notre dame! oh fun! i love being an intellectual and knowing things. and knowing what people are talking about when they talk about european history. i knew my two semesters of medieval history would serve me in good stead SOME day. clovis? charlemagne? anne de bretaigne? PWND.

lets see what else... there was a whole list of things i meant to put up here but now i cant remember any of them else. i will just update more some other time - but probably not until like, monday or so.

but does anyone care?
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21 juin 2005 @ 16:43 (pas de sujets)

Tags: france

holy shit i just seriously typed a really long entry about the stuff i've been doing the past few days and then i clicked on the wrong thing and LJ deleted it. fuck this, i'll do it again later. suffice it to say i miss and love you guys and im having fun but not that much fun.

dude seriously fuck you livejournal.

but does anyone care?
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a running acount

of hearts, minds, and the perils of staying alive

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